Looking at Loneliness

Let me read you a few verses from Psalm 102 …

Hear my prayer, O Lord, and let my cry come unto thee. Hide not thy face from me in the day when I am in trouble; incline thine ear unto me: in the day when I call, answer me speedily. For my days are consumed like smoke, and my bones are burned as an hearth. My heart is smitten, and withered like grass; so that I forget to eat my bread. By reason of the voice of my groaning, my bones cleave to my skin. I am like a pelican of the wilderness: I am like an owl of the desert. I watch, and am

as a sparrow alone upon the house top” Psalms 102: v1-7.

We don’t know what particular difficulty the writer was experiencing at the time he penned this psalm, but in it, we find a common experience—a difficulty that we all face at some point in our lives:- loneliness.

Loneliness does not necessarily stem from the fact that someone is indeed alone. Many people may live in your street, yet it can be one of the loneliest places on earth. Many people feel alone in their family setting or workplace, perhaps rejected because they have come to Christ while others have not. Even Church can be a lonely place for some—even though they stand on their feet and sing praises to the Lord, they know that once the service is over, they will be all alone once again. They will walk out the door and ask themselves, “Why can’t I get rid of this deep sense of loneliness in my heart?”

If this sentiment is familiar to you, you are in good company. Even the psalmist said, “I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top” Psalm 102:7. In other words, “I have the anointing of God. I know the purpose of life and why I am on the earth. Christ is everything to me and I live in a place where

I have a higher view and see more than ordinary men, like a sparrow upon a housetop—yet I feel so alone.”

In the Bible I can see that some of the greatest people in scriptural history struggled with loneliness. David, for example, was anointed to be king of Israel, and the Spirit of God had come upon him. He had God-given talents and abilities and had experienced victories that perhaps no one in his generation had seen. However, at a point in his journey, he found himself in a cave saying, “I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me: refuge failed me; no man cares for my soul” Psalms 142:4. It seemed to him at that moment that nobody understood what he was going through, and in his opinion, nobody really cared to know. He could not find refuge in any of the people around him.

Then, consider the apostle Paul, who likely had the greatest revelation of any writer in his generation. Listen to the words

he wrote to Timothy in his last hours of life: “At my first answer no man stood with me, but all men forsook me: I pray God that it may not be laid to their charge” 2 Timothy 4:16. How lonely Paul must have been at that moment in his life—especially after his lengthy journey and all he had given for the Churches? Finally, when he was called to answer before the judicial system of his time, not a single person stood with him! How tempted Paul must have been to become overwhelmed when everyone forsook him. Likewise, how tempted we are to throw in the towel, when we feel alone or abandoned.

Yet I believe that God has a purpose in the loneliness that we experience at times in our lives. Given the prevalence of loneliness throughout the Scriptures and in our own lives,

we should consider an important question today: Is it possible that loneliness has a purpose far deeper than we understand?

We live in a society that has adopted a theological perspective that pursues to escape all hardship and sorrow. But is it possible that we are constantly trying to escape something that God has intentionally allowed in our lives? Although the Bible promises a day in heaven when there is no sorrow, no sighing, no loneliness and no tears, we are often like the prodigal son—we want that inheritance now. We want church to make us happy, with every message building up our self-image and allowing us to avoid all suffering. Tragically, this pursuit has left much of the Church ill-prepared for the days that we are all about to face.

Now think about this for a moment. There was no loneliness in the human race until sin separated man from God in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were not lonely—they had fellowship with God and with each other. But when mankind sinned, loneliness entered the hearts of the human race. And loneliness, though not a sin in itself, does lead many people to sin?

The Scriptures say we are enticed and drawn away by our own lusts—that is how sin gains a foundation in the human life.

But for many people, it does not begin with lust—it begins with loneliness. People don’t just start browsing pornographic sites because they are filled with lust, nor do they get into bad relationships or substance addictions because they necessarily wanted to. In most cases they are simply lonely, looking for something to satisfy the ache in their hearts. And when people come to Christ, they often get the impression that all of this will be gone—that they will never be lonely again. Therefore they begin to wonder, “ if I’m never supposed to be lonely again, why do I feel so alone? What is wrong with me?”

If you are lonely today and have given in to sin, or you are moving toward sin, you have made a wrong choice. You are becoming led by the lusts of your own fallen nature, and if you are not careful, you will find yourself in a worse situation

than you have ever been in before.

I suggest to you that loneliness is in your heart for a reason—God put it there. After Cain sinned, he was sent as a vagabond into the land, yet God put a mark on him so that no man could hurt him. And when Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, it seemed that loneliness was put into the human race by God Himself. He put it there because He wants you back to Himself again. You will never find anything to satisfy that ache in your heart. You were created by God, in His image, for fellowship with Him and ultimately for eternity with Him.

Search for all the fame, wealth and popularity that you can—but that emptiness in your heart will never be satisfied until you

are back in a full and meaningful relationship with God. Nevertheless, mankind incessantly circles this globe looking for some new relationship, some new thrill or activity to satisfy that ache in the heart put there by God Himself. David said, “I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me; refuge failed me; no man cared for my soul” Psalms 142:4. But then in verse 5 he said, “I cried unto Thee, O Lord: I said, Thou art my refuge and my portion in the land of the living.” David was lonely, but he said, “God, I know that You are the only one that can satisfy this ache in my heart. I know that I’ll never be complete until I am back in right relationship and full fellowship with You.”

The Lord wants us to come to understand that Jesus Christ is our only lasting strength and comfort in this world. Sometimes He causes or allows everything to be stripped away until all that remains is HIMSELF, the friend who sticks closer than a brother—until we finally stop looking to who is on the left and on the right. I regularly thank God for the people in my life, and for my friends and family members, — but it is only a living relationship with God through Jesus Christ that will truly satisfy.

God uses loneliness to draw us to a place where we become fully satisfied in Him, but I believe we should consider another purpose, as well. Loneliness can give us a glimpse of Gods Heart. Is it possible that loneliness in the human heart is God’s way of sharing with us the longing in His heart for people to return to Him? You can waste time focusing on yourself, trying to get rid of that feeling or you can consider another possibility. Christ may be manifesting His heart in you saying, “I love you, I have embraced you, I have called you by My name. But just look away from yourself for a moment and see all the men and women around you. The crowd who throng the supermarket, the teenagers on the street, the senior citizens in the nursing home, or across the hall. I am lonely for them, too.”

Paul said, “If we suffer, we shall also reign with him”

2 Timothy 2:12. Our loneliness is in measure a part of sharing in the sufferings of Christ, for Jesus Himself experienced loneliness. Most of the people believed in Him simply because they saw His miracles, but the Scriptures say that Jesus could not commit Himself to man, for He knew what was in man.

At the tomb of Lazarus, Jesus groaned and was troubled at the people’s unbelief, and He wept. When He was with His own disciples explaining how He must go to Jerusalem to be crucified, none of them understood, but instead tried to convince Him not to go to the cross. When the people came to make Him a king, He walked away. It must have been a lonely walk?

You see, the only real lasting fellowship Jesus had was with His Father and with the Holy Spirit. That’s why He said, “Father, if it be possible, take this cup from Me.” There was nothing in or of this world that could satisfy Him. I believe even the thought of losing fellowship with the Father for a season was almost unbearable to Jesus. Hebrews 4:15 says, “He was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.” So if Jesus was not lonely, then this Scripture is not true. Jesus had to be tested in all points as we are, yet He did not sin. He did not try to escape the loneliness, but in spite of it allowed the hand of God to reach out through Him to others — to people whose pain would be eternal if He were to draw back.

If God’s people spend their days drawing back from humanity, refusing to partake in what it really means to be the Church of Jesus Christ in this world, how many people are going to suffer for all eternity? I thank God Jesus didn’t draw back and say, “Father, the only happiness I have is with You, and I am not willing to forsake it for anything.” If that were the case, the whole world would have no hope.

The writer to the Hebrews reminds us that Jesus did what he did
“… for the joy that was set before him… ” Hebrews 12:2. It was
for the joy—the joy of you and me being reconciled to God again. It was so that the longing and the loneliness in the heart of God would be satisfied. Did you know that God has a need that only you can meet? Have you ever considered that? Have you ever thought that God might be lonely? If that weren’t the case, couldn’t He have just written off all of humanity? God could have said, “Well, I tried and it didn’t work, let me create another world with some other people, new people.” But no! When God came down into the Garden of Eden and called, “Adam!” He was like a father who had lost his child; like a husband who had lost his wife. There was a loneliness in the heart of God—a loneliness for every person throughout all time who would miss out on the great love and salvation offered to them by the Father.

And now Jesus commissions His Church, “As the Father has sent ME, so I send YOU into the world.” Yet the question is, should we constantly try to escape all hardship? Should we live solely for our own happiness? Happiness is a wonderful thing, and Christ had times of great joy in His own life. But as the Church of Jesus Christ, we are still on a redemptive mission to bring people to the Saviour! Do we not feel what is in the heart of God for humanity? If we would see a man crying on a park bench and not be moved to speak to him—do we really share the heart of God, or the love of God?

Now while we are Sons and Daughters of the King, and joint-heirs with Jesus Christ, and have the “life of God” in us, this does not mean that we should be oblivious to the cries and tears of the world around us, -nor that we may always escape the tears ourselves. If you and I lived on a mountain-top all the time, we would be obnoxious to this world. There would be absolutely nothing in us that truly represented the Christ who went to a Cross. Nothing of that passion or love of Jesus that caused lepers to crawl through a crowd, blind men to cry out on the side of the road, prostitutes to fall at His feet and wash them with their tears. The most precious times of worship and fellowship with God in my own life have been those times when I wept, and wept aloud over the failings of my selfish heart. It is in such experiences that we see the heart of God and share that heart.

Yet in our day, in this church age, can it be that life, liberty and the pursuit of leisure have become our theology? Has society so infiltrated the church that we no longer resemble Christ but

instead reject everything that could produce His character within us? How foolish it would be to try to throw away something in our lives that God is using to produce compassion in us! After all, lonely people are aware of other lonely people.

Once someone has suffered and has had to be comforted by God, it is only natural that they become filled with compassion and start reaching out to bring comfort to others.

For the joy set before us, we should be willing to endure the cross and despise its shame. It is for the joy of men, women and children being reconciled to God, the joy of knowing that the loneliness in our Father’s heart is being satisfied.

If you cannot put your finger on the reason for the loneliness in your life, it is likely that God, in His mercy, is sharing His heart with you. He said that he would never fail you nor forsake you and He came to you when you reached out to Him. Yes, there is a day coming when there will be no more sorrow and no more tears, but until then, you are given the privilege of sharing the heart of Christ in this world.

I am thankful that God doesn’t just allow us to become aloof—distanced from the pain of humanity around us; distanced from the heart of God; singing songs, but looking nothing like the Saviour. Don’t keep looking for that “perfect person” to come into your life and take away the loneliness. While it may be true, that he or she will help for a season, Loneliness will come back again. Instead, take that loneliness in your heart and channel it in the right direction, saying, “Lord, thank You for sharing Your heart with me, letting me know how You feel about people. As much as I may long for someone to come into my life, You long so much more for fallen men, women and children to return to You. Help me to focus on You and others rather than on myself.”

As you submit to the Lord, He will give you compassion to move toward people who have that same cry of loneliness in their hearts. They don’t have the answer—but you do! Allow God to use you to represent the heart of Christ in this generation!


I read somewhere that Arturo Toscanini, the world famous conductor, was very exacting and often tyrannical in rehearsal, often practiced Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony with an orchestra. First it was practiced piece-meal, each group of instruments alone, and then together at full concert strength. At last rehearsals were over and the Maestro and orchestra were

ready for the Concert Performance.

When the Symphony was ended, the first violinist said to the second violinist, “if he scolds us after that, I will jump up and push him off his podium”

But Toscanini did not scold: he stood silent, his arms still outstretched, his deep eyes burning with an inner fire, the light of a great rapture upon his face, and a spirit of utter contentment enfolding him.

After a long silence he spoke; “Who am I? Who is Toscanini? Who are you? I am nobody, you are nobody …”

The crowded hall was hushed, the audience waited in awed silence. Then with the light on his face as one who had seen a vision, he added ” but the Composer is everything!”

Without God, who am I, and who are you?

…”we are nothing without the Creator”

Think about it! Amen.